You dream of having a dog since forever, and you don't know how to convince your other half? This article is made for you. Guaranteed result! I will explain you how I have persuaded my husband, an VERY not dog friendly person, to embark together in this adventure.
Step 1: Gradualy initiate the conversation casualy
It is a long-standing project
Having a dog cannot be decided the day before for the next day. Show him it is a long-held project and explain this desire does not come from nowhere. For me, as soon as I met my husband, I shared my affection for dogs and my desire to have one "someday". The "someday" is very important. Don't scare him, this is the best way to antagonize the person in front of you. The feeling of being forced upon something suddenly is not pleasant to anyone. To embark on the adventure is a project initiated by one person, yet to be built by two.
It is a thoughtful project
Show it is a well thought-out project, that behind it is not a passing whim but rather a real desire to make a long-term commitment. Having a dog can be a childhood dream, or a life goal. Share and communicate this true and deep wish. It might sound silly, but for me, just like having children or my own house one day, it was inconceivable for me to not have my dog "someday". It will probably take a while for your lover to get it, and that's okay. The important thing is that he or she understands how important this project is to you.
Step 2: Be soft
This step 2 is by far the most painful, as you don't have any control over it. It can last few months or few years, depending on how long the idea will take to emerge in your lover mind. It is going to be long, and you better have to accept it now. In my case, I had to wait 5 years for this "someday" to finally come, so don't give up now.
The key to sweeten the pill is to put yourself in the shoes of your lover, who has clearly never ask to get a dog. Listen to him and accept his point of view. Put yourself in his shoes and be empathetic. For example, if you are not a cat person, it would have been hard for you to be willing to get a cat, but with time and discussion you would have accept it if you understood this was important to your partner.
Step 3: It is YOUR responsbility and not his/her
Reassure on workload
You are already imposing your half something he did not want, you are not going to ask him to take bow-wow for a walk 3 times a day and go to the vet every week. Be cool… Give him some time!
Get into your and his head that the project is yours, and reassure him on the workload and responsibility. No need to put pressure on him, he will naturally help and do his part once the puppy would be here. It's a very personal approach and involvement is unique to everyone. Don't blame him for not showing interest or wanting to be involved. That would only start an endless battle of "you never do anything", "I do everything", and "I didn't ask for anything", "c 'is your dog not mine "... In which both of you are right at the end!
Prove hom/her you can do it
Show him you are fully aware of all responsibilities. Reassure him about your past experience, if you had dogs in you childhood, or create your own if you don't have any background yet. Keep your aunt's dog for a few days or do pet-sitting for your neighbors. On the one hand it will prove with tangible facts you have concrete experience and are able to manage an animal on a daily basis, and on the other hand it will confirm your interest and give you confidence.
>> See my article on pet sitting "How and where to find the right pet sitter"
Step 4: Make sure you have a stable and appropriate environment
As you are the one you have initiated this project, ask yourself the right questions to evaluate yourself before talking seriously about it with your partner:
- Am I ready to devote time for him?
- Am I ready to commit myself over ten years?
- Am I ready to rearrange my schedule?
- Am I feeling well in my life and is it the right time for me?
- Am I ready to dedicate money for this project?
Prepare your couple
Having a dog is initiated by one, but a decision taken by two. You must be and feel well in your relationship, meaning living together and having real plans together for the future. Talk freely together, evaluate if this is the right time for both of you:
- Make sure "the door is open": if you have a categorical no because your friend is allergic (for real I mean) or phobia of dogs, you may have to put aside your project.
- Plan the right timing in your life: Choose a period in your life when everything is fine. One project at a time, don't multiply everything (wedding, baby, moving). Be prepared to give your pet all the attention he deserves for the first few months.
- Agree on basic principles: align on as many topics as possible, such as the type of education, the distribution of tasks, when you will feed him, what you accept and what you won't ... etc. Everything has to be thought through and decided together.
Step 5: There is no problem, only solutions
Argue on a daily basis
Show by A + B your dog will not be a constraint in your everyday life. Show with tangible examples everything is possible. If you go on vacation there are dog friendly hotels. In the restaurant, a calm dog under the table won't disturb anyone. Dogs can take plane and train, and even enter some stores. If it's small one you can carry him anywhere you want in a special bag. If you have to go away, lots of alternatives are possible: neighbors, pet-sitter or boarding house. Refuse all his objections with concrete solutions.
But be subtle
Add real examples to your pitch. Could be with your relatives: "My uncle takes Chipie wherever he goes", "Amber came with Oural to the restaurant", "When Grandma left few days, the gardener came everyday to feed Féline "; or in real time: "Look there are dogs in the hotel, they must accept them", "The dog next to me on the plane was very good".
Be careful not to abuse it, nor to talk about it every day, you will risk to dig his heels in!
Article available online too on Raymond Youtube channel
(french only - for the moment)
Bonus: 12 irrefutable arguments
Now is the time to give scientific or statistically proven arguments, that he won't be able to refute. He or she will probably send you packing, but it won't fall on deaf ears.
Here are 12 arguments to use when talking about dogs with your partner:
- Increase your mental well-being
1. Dog avoids loneliness feeling
2. Dog reduces stress, anxiety and depression
- Increase your physical well-being
3. Dog promotes activity and physical well-being
4. Dog extends life expectancy
5. Dog detects diseases
6. Dog slows down diseases development
- The ultimate companion for your kids
7. Dog is the best training for parenting
8. Dog strengthens your children health condition
9. Dog instills a sense of responsibility to your children
- Genuine lucky charm
10. Dog can rescue anyone
11. Dog is the best alarm against theft
12. Dog is more useful than a tear gas against any agressors
>>> Check-out the full article to get numbers "12 irrefutable arguments to convince your lover to get a dog"
Also available in video on Raymond Youtube channel
I truly hope this article will help you. It is a sum up of 5 years hardwork to convince my dear lover. Who, by the way, is even more crazy about Raymnd than (or almost)
Enrich the conversation, and share your advice and arguments in comments.